🌟 Define Your North Star

On walking away and charting a new course.

It’s time for a new season, literally and figuratively. Literally because the sun was out yesterday and holy cow did that feel good. After school, my four-year-old flung his shoes off, put on his Darth Vader outfit, and pranced around the yard blasting invisible Jedi knights. That’s where we’re at. He recently swapped out his sparkly blue Elsa dress for a full black cape. And like my little buddy, I’ve outgrown the person I was a few years ago. It’s time to expand.

This feeling of expansion started early last year at the skincare company I co-founded with my brother. Full of energy, I began exploring new subjects. I could suddenly see new ways to grow the business and reach new audiences. If you follow me on Instagram, you probably got targeted by my ads, which…sorry? Unless you got the Gen Z ad. That one was sigma. Building my voice as the co-founder was one part of this evolution. I felt like I was breaking out of some earlier version of myself and becoming someone new.

But by the end of the year, it became clear my brother and I wanted very different futures for the company. A few weeks ago, with a heart full of gratitude, I stepped away. Now I’m excited and only a small amount nervous to start something new.

Before leaving, I met with a creative director to talk about how to set the stage for my next adventure. When he asked what I wanted to do, I explained that I wanted to work with an early-stage brand. “That’s a job,” he answered. “What do you want?” I paused for a moment and answered again, changing the order of the words a little. He sighed. We stared at each other. “Look,” he finally said. “In middle age, you don’t get many opportunities to step back and ask yourself what you actually want to do with this one life. A job is easy. You need to figure out what you want.”

I looked in the little Zoom window. Did I look middle-aged? How could he tell?¹ Also, I wanted a job. What was not clear about that? “I guess I have to think about it,” I concluded. We said our goodbyes. I wrote the conversation off as a tiny detour in my pending existential crisis journey.

But over the next few weeks, his question burned in my mind. What did I want? What should my next adventure-slash-job be? How could I make sure it was joy-filled and meaningful?

I wrote in my journal, hired a career coach, and listened to a podcast.² It turned out that the creative director was right. After some reflection and a modicum of research, I understood that the goals that have made me happiest in the past were the ones I most enjoyed pursuing.³

I wanted to approach my next chapter with intention. To do this, I needed a framework to shape what comes next. And because practical help is my love language, I wanted to share this process with you. Here’s how it works.

Step 01. Define Your North Star

To understand what goals to set, you first need a mission, or a north star. Rather than a specific accomplishment, your north star is directional. It orients you as you work toward it, probably forever. It’s your definition of a life well-lived. Like Polaris, it’s a constant guide. Not something you arrive at, only something you move toward. My north star is to be deeply connected with my songbirds (a.k.a. my family) and be fully present with them in our day-to-day lives.

Step 02. Set Your Proxy Goals

Because the north star is abstract, you need to set proxy goals that bring you closer to it. In other words, any concrete goal you achieve is in service of the larger mission. Let me share an example. Publishing a book isn’t inherently meaningful (I learned this the hard way). But the reason you pursue it determines whether it nourishes you or depletes you. For instance, if you’re doing it to prove something, it will likely produce more stress than satisfaction. However, if the reason is to explore your own creativity, learn something, or just because you enjoy the process—then this goal can work.

I’ve always struggled with how I present myself: as an illustrator or as a creative executive. My career coach Julie⁴ helped me see that I’m both, and that the common thread running through all of my work is making things. I make things for myself (books, illustrations, maps) and I love to help other people make things (branding, packaging, printed things, a content strategy). For me, one of the most satisfying pursuits in life is to build something out of nothing.

Therefore, my proxy goal is to make things—for myself and for others. Everything from my books to this newsletter to the massive campaigns I brought to life at my old job ladders up to this goal.

Step 03. Be Flexible

Your proxy goals should be something you enjoy pursuing so that even if (i.e. when) they manifest differently than expected—or not at all—you’ve enjoyed the journey. Let me say it another way. The journey may be all there is so you sure as shit better like how you spend your time.

That’s it. Three steps to begin charting your course. Now, as I explore my next move, I know whatever I choose has to fit within this framework in order for me to live a good life.

As Queen Mariah says, “spread your wings and fly.”

With that in mind, I’m renaming this Substack: Now We Make Things.

I’ll still talk about graphic memoirs (my heart and soul) but I’ll expand out to other subjects like why packaging should be beautiful (there are actual studies on this!) or the importance of brand building. Also, the constant oversharing of my life. I tagged all of my past posts and added links in the navigation so you can easily search for topics you’re most interested in. And if there’s anything you want me to cover, please tell me. I’d love to hear from you.

So here we go. New cape. New season. The north star in clear view.

XO

1. Let me answer. He could tell I was middle-aged because I’m 42. Ie. middle-aged.

2. The podcast is called Office Hours with Arthur Brooks, and my goal-setting initiative comes from the episode titled How to Set the Right Goals in Life. It’s probably best if you just head on over there and listen straight from the source, but if not, read on.

3. Just scroll on down to the show notes for research deets.

4. I wouldn’t say I’m in a full-on existential crisis but something adjacent. Anyway whatever she’s amazing. I found her on Strawberry.